Transformation

I’m in the dark, in the wintertime. Not just this month’s winter, but the winter of my Abundance. I hit a rough patch there.

On the one hand, I’ve got my mother telling me that if she were me, she would go and clean toilets to offer her child more things. She is still the one to think that kids, just like many adults, need things to fill the emotional void inside and thus be happy. The things will set him free? She is still the one to think that only a real job offers the safety net that chasing after my dreams of being a writer and a singer never will. That’s right! Chasing after my dreams will never get me into a place of financial security. I must be the one to set the tempo of manifestation and my dreams will follow, not vice versa. However, being a mother and still following my soul’s desire seems outrageous and irresponsible. There we have it, example number 1 (of what, you’ll soon learn).

On the other hand, we’ve got a typical visit of our farmer’s market/ health food store/ local shop. My wallet may be pretty much empty, but I’ve always had this feeling that abundance is right around the corner for me. Honestly. I can feel it. I can definitely believe it. I just don’t know how to get from A to B, you see. “A little less conversation, a little more action,” may be a good advice. I can feel the abundance that’s waiting for me to take a step forward; it’s funny, unexplainable, and it’s leaving me perplexed when I go to the store, calculating and browsing for change in the holes of my pockets. And regardless of the impending abundance, I think to myself: “This ain’t no life, this ain’t no living.” There we have it, example number 2 … of my worthiness issues.

I’ve heard it said that money is the compensation for the value that you give out to the world. But if you don’t mind I’ll complete this statement by saying that the value that we are talking about always comes from the first person singular, the doer. For how could anything valuable come from a person who doesn’t value himself? Money is therefore the reflection of our self-worth. Huh?

Um, let’s delve even deeper. And deeper. Into the dark.

The dark is very welcoming. It makes us calm down, become present and take another perspective on our lives. It makes it possible for us to trace our moons and stars and all the other things and people and situations that shine and make our lives brighter. Can you recognize yours? By contrasting the light, the dark also helps us see what exactly doesn’t qualify in our lives anymore. And then it also gives space for transformation to occur, the alchemy, which is the natural ability of our cyclical nature.

I feel that I’m in the transformation from the Maiden to the Mother archetype. Sure, I’ve been an actual mother for the past three and a half years, but up until now I didn’t exactly know my place in our family of two. I was in between minds. I was either both, the mother and the father, or just hanging around, waiting for someone to come and partner me and father my son. But now I’m ready to take responsibility, for the Universe is kicking me to leave behind the girlish insecurity and rise as a woman.

The Maiden is so insecure and therefore afraid to commit to anything by fear of being marked as just someone who’s making these delicious energy bars for you. “I’m not just your f*** cook,” her surly temper’s got the best of her. This skin is becoming too tight. I think I’ll move on … to the Mother, who knows what she is and none of her descriptions of herself involve the demeaning words, such as “only” or “just”. She knows she’s got it all. She owns it. And she doesn’t give a flying f*** as to what others may think of her. She knows what she’s here to do and she goes and does it, because the world needs her loving presence. And the world needs her natural feeling of abundance, that she radiates forward.

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Happy Feast Day, Everyone!

Today is the 2nd time we get to celebrate St. Mary Magdalene’s Day since Pope Francis raised her memorial last year. Once considered a prostitute by the Church, she was now proclaimed a saint. There is nothing more terrifying to men in position than an awakened woman, says Dale Allen Hoffman, who has been studying the topic of Biblical mysticism for decades now. I encountered his work a few weeks ago, and I just can’t get enough of the inspiration. He is a “civilian scholar”, mystic and energetic healer, who works with sound a lot. At the beginning of each of his events, he does the arameic (the language that Jesus and Mary Magdalene spoke) toning, because he says that us humans we can feel the sound vibration of words better then understand the meaning of them. Amazing.

I consider Mary Magdalene one of my guardians, which simply means that I keep her energy close to my heart at all times. The sacred feminine is something that I’ve been drawn to embody for the past six years, and I got in touch with Mary Magdalene’s archetype via a dear friend. As a priestess of the Temple of Isis (the ancient Egyptian virgin goddess, whose story suspiciously resembles the story of Mary, mother of Jesus), her biggest quality in my opinion is drawing together women of all colours and sizes, but with the same burning desire within their hearts and their yonis. This desire is to embrace the sacred feminine energy into our bodies, minds and souls and to live it. Mary Magdalene draws together priestesses, and this quality is highly necessary nowadays, because us women need sisterhood. We need it just as men need brotherhood, none is more important than the other. But up to this day, it has been easier for men to “join in circle” (ha, men would never say that) because in most cases women are the keepers of the home and thus … well, stuck home. Women need sisterhood not in order to survive – although this is debatable – but to thrive and grow and expand beyond the imagination of our minds and into the limitless potential of our souls. Because all we are really up to is grow and expand. Grow out of yesterday’s skin and expand through the experience of a new day. Now just imagine what it would be like if you knew that there was a circle of women, a circle of sisters standing behind you and cheering your way every time you faced a challenge?

The world needs women who are stepping out and into the world, to give that precious gift that only they can give to help our planet thrive. Giving is the most natural thing to women because of our innate knowledge that the well of love cannot be emptied. But if this giving is not in balance with receiving, we are left tired and unkept. So what the women who are stepping our need is to receive support and acknowledgement and respect. And if this patriarchal society won’t give it to them, then their sisterhood will. Won’t we?

If there is a women’s circle where you live or nearby, go attend, or have a girl’s night out. I’m just heading out to join women at a sweat lodge, where we’ll have a ritual. I am really looking forward to it, because there are a lot of things that are no longer serving me and I need to let go and give them to Mother Nature, trusting that she will transform them into something that serves all of us. As ever. If there is no such thing taking place, at least go listen to one of Dale’s amazing lectures and tone with him in the ancient language that cannot leave you stoic.

Happy sisterhood day, loves.

Hasta mañana.

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