Today I felt the need to write about touch. It’s something I really, truly love and at the same time something I’m rather new to. What do I mean by that and I managed to conceive a child if I’m new to touch? Well, let me tell you.
I’m new to touch in a way that I feel comfortable receiving and giving it. Before I was only used to touch as a matter of foreplay, necessarily leading to intercourse. But then I started hanging out more with people who are touchy-feely and I started noticing how I cringe every time someone touches me beyond the “hello” and “goodbye” hugs, you know? As somebody touched me when I didn’t expect it, the alarm in my mind went on, keeping me on hold: “What do they want from us?” It’s when I repeatedly noticed the alarm popping up at the exact same moments, I started thinking. And then I started observing, and feeling.
I’ve got this friend who is like a brother to me. We met some ten years ago in college in order to do music together. We did some and then we didn’t for a long time and when the time is due, we’re going to pull our socks up. So naturally, over the years we became very close. And as he is a very touchy-feely kind of guy, he hugged me a lot. At first I felt awkward and then I got used to it and then I stopped thinking about it completely. Until recently. One day last month he came over and as I was still working on my computer, he simply stepped behind me and massaged my neck and shoulders. It felt fantastic and even if I wanted to I could not feel in any way threatened by his touch. I just realized one major thing: he was massaging me because he loved me. And I could feel that the cause of my begotten massage was his appreciation for all that I meant to him. He didn’t want anything from me. He just wanted to crystallize his appreciation of our relationship into physicality.
This incident even manifested in the calendar that I’m working on with a friend, which helps women live more fully. The thought, if I translate it from Slovene, went something like:
“Do you know the touch of gratitude for all that you are worth? Or are you solely used to the touch that triggers intercourse? The palpable power of a touch is here to worship the BEAUTY of your soul that craves the feeling of closeness.”
By the way, did you know that the children, who are touched and hugged more, tend to do better later on in life in the earthly sphere? This is something that one of my teachers, dearest Sara, talked about in her daily video this morning and I felt so glad I hugged and kissed Svarun about a million times this morning before he went to kindergarten. Money, work, self-worth, joie the vivre all belong into the earthly sphere and if we take a closer look, all of these things represent the core for our perception of this time-space reality. Crazy, isn’t it?
So go … hug your kids and parents, and hug your friends. You can even hug neighbors and strangers if you’re of the brave sort. Just a reminder, maybe. I read somewhere that a hug should last for at least 30 seconds. It takes the nervous system that time to fully incorporate the experience before the healing can begin. Because when we come together into embrace, we can heal one another and if you’re really still, you can just feel the neurons jumping and throwing a party in the energy field around your hugging bodies.
That’s what I call magic.