Things to Say

Do you know the feeling that what you are doing makes no sense? Do you ever think that nobody wants to listen to what you’re saying or look at what you’re painting or marvel at how you’re dancing? I used to feel that way a lot.

Today I was talking on the phone with someone, whom I respect greatly; actually, I will go so far as to call her my teacher. She knows my visions and my path, and she told me that what I have to say matters greatly to the world. She also told me that there are numerous ears that need to listen to my words, while I had a hard time believing that. I always thought I was going to have things to say only once my soul wears a fifty-something grayish grandma outfit. But I turned thirty in March and it seems that all my soul wants to do is express itself and inspire others to do the same. However, all that my mind wants to do is prevent it from doing so, scowling: “Who are you to talk about anything? You are not yet perfect.”

Wait a minute. What does that even mean? I may not know a lot of things, but what I do know is that in this moment, I am exactly what I need to be. I dig the journey, not the destination. Perfect seems like a destination to me, and a pretty boring one at that, for it doesn’t offer any chance to grow. Do I really want to be perfect before I start writing full time? Do I really want to wait until my English is perfect, until my limiting expectations are being met, until I have enough time – if there is such a thing? Or do I take off my masks and be completely honest with you? I am warning you, it might not always be pretty, although girls are taught to always be pretty. But I promise you, it will be real.

I choose real. I choose raw. I choose genuine. I choose to speak up because I know I have things to say. Just as everybody else. I have things to say as a result of this other thing that I have, which is called life. It has been blessing me with experiences that cause my personal growth, just as yours has. But because I know that we must first see the reflection of the thing to be able to ever see the thing we’re looking for, I am here to be your mirror. I have had many mirrors along the way and now it’s time to keep up the good work. I have things to say because I know my journey is not just mine. My journey is the journey of everybody, because we are all rising up to the highest versions of ourselves. I have things to say right now and I will no longer wait for my words to mature and ripen beyond recognition.

In this moment, I thank my perfectly imperfect thoughts about myself for being here. Thank you for the contrast, from which I realize that I am perfectly perfect in all that I am right now.

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